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Question from Barbara: I'm currently dating a gentleman very sweet in every aspect. It is very intimate to let someone into your home and it may set up expectations for a fuller relationship that you're not ready for.We both are widowed, and we have gone out, but I'm not ready to invite him into my home. Still, there is an arch to relationships: They either get more or less intimate. It hasn't been clear that someone was asking the question about a gay relationship.Question from Janet: I don't even know where to begin. Almost all activities have either singles groups or mixed groups of singles and married people who are all devoted to the activity at hand.But remember, if you don't find someone interesting in the group, you should leave — don't get stuck in a place where there is no opportunity to meet someone.But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.So please feel free to ask me questions that involve same-sex relationships, and I will be glad to try to be helpful. » Question from Sarah: I'm worried I have too much baggage to go back out there after a couple of failed marriages. On the other hand, if you don't think you know what ended those relationships and you don't feel wiser and more capable of a relationship now, then you should go see a therapist or counselor so you can solve some of your previous problems and get rid of the baggage. I haven't found anyone who likes to do the same things I do since my husband. If you like opera, join a group that supports opera.
Question from Guest: I am 59, and all of the men that I see are interested in younger women.
Do I have to find an 80-year-old to be the younger woman?
PS: No you don't, although there are some great 80-year-olds out there!
Remember, the ultimate goal is to meet the love of your life.
Question from Lorraine from Philly: How can I date younger men without being labeled a "cougar." PS: I'm not going to label you a cougar!
So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.